This week, as we continue our marriage and family series, Pastor J.D. shares the second half of his answer to the question: “What counsel would you give young Christians about dating?”
Show Notes:
4. Resolve to seek God first and your significant other second.
When you reject the “marriage completes me” myth, you can put your eyes on Jesus and let him supply your needs.
The best marriages are like two people running down the road as hard as they can after God, where you look over to see someone running about the same speed and direction that you are, and you say, “Hey, where you going? Wanna go together?”
Andy Stanley said it this way: “Become the person that the person you are looking for … is looking for.” That way, if God has marriage in your future, great—you’ll be better prepared. And if not, you still haven’t wasted a decade of your life.
5. Resolve to date “only in the Lord.”
If marriage is about having a lifelong companion, then why unite yourself to someone who doesn’t share the most important part of you?
Scripture is very clear on this: Talking about a single woman in the church, 1 Corinthians 7:39 says, “… she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord,” (NASB). And, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? …” (2 Corinthians 6:14 ESV).
A yoke was a harness put on two animals to keep them pulling in the same direction. If your partner doesn’t share your faith in Christ, you will be pulling different directions when it comes to just about everything—your time, your money, raising your future kids.
We need to see that what Scripture says here is less of a restrictive rule and more of a loving guideline because to be unequally yoked to an unbeliever means you will never be able to share the deepest parts of yourself with them.
6. Resolve to date only in the context of community.
You need godly and wise counsel more in the dating stage of life than perhaps any other.
If there were no other practical reason to be involved in the church, this would be it. Sometimes it’s obvious to people you trust that there are problems with the person you’re dating or your relationship that you can’t see. This could include lust or flirtation problems, a failure to keep their word (which shows they are not trustworthy), or manipulative and controlling behavior.
You won’t have those godly people in your life if you are not connected to the church. God has already given you all the counsel you need. You just need to ask older, wise believers to speak truth into your relationships.
Again, these resolutions are countercultural, but they are not impossible.
Dating is a time of testing. Are you going to be faithful in this? If you use this time to show that you can wait on God’s good plan, you won’t believe the ways he’ll bless you in your marriage and—most importantly—as a disciple.
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