What Are the Biggest Obstacles Christians Face in Marriage? Part 2

This week, we continue our marriage & family series with part two of last week’s episode: “What Are the Biggest Obstacles Christians Face in Marriage?”

Show Notes:

Myth 3: Everyone else is doing better than we are.

  • Everyone thinks they are unique in their struggle.
  • Truth: 1 Corinthians 10:13, “No temptation has overtaken you…” 
    • Social Media has turned this common lie of Satan’s into a forest fire of destruction today. It always amazes me how people seem to be sure from the curated feeds they follow that they stink at marriage (or parenting or whatever else) and everyone else is a superstar. Satan can use social media to cherry-pick what you see, and lie to you about your marriage. He is a liar.
  • God has not forgotten you. He has a purpose for your marriage. He’ll give grace for you to glorify him. 
    • I’ve thought often of the story of manna in the Bible. As much as they wanted it, manna was not given all at once… we want it all up front in the marriage in pre-marital counseling. There are needs in the marriage God won’t reveal until year 5. And he’ll be ready with manna.

Myth 4: I’m primarily “sinned against,” only secondarily “sinner.”

  • Early on in our marriage we were both mad at each other. Disappointed. “You didn’t keep up your end of the bargain,” we both thought. 
  • Truth: With Jesus, I’m always first sinner, and only secondly “sinned against.” That came from a counselor, and it changed my life. 
    • I think about how much I’ve sinned against God…nothing she ever does to me compares to what I’ve done to him. 
    • Submersing myself in grace is what gives me the ability to forgive her. 1 John 4:19
  • First, I want to caveat this by saying that I am not talking about abusive situations, just average joe-selfish sinners. If you are in an abusive relationship, Christ is not telling you to stay in it. You should get to safety immediately and reach out for help. So we’re not talking about abusive relationships, just normal selfish ones.
    • With that said, the question is: What is the “ticker tape” in your head playing? It should be regularly playing your sins, not their’s. Or playing their best moments. Can you remember the last time you repented of something with your spouse?
      • Jesus told a story that I think might be the most important one for marriage, at least mine: 10,000 talents. So if you don’t naturally forgive your spouse, you must have forgotten how much Jesus has forgiven you.
      • What you need is not “10 steps to a better marriage,” but to embrace the 10,000 steps. What you need is Christ as the foundation and center.
      • In no marriage is it always one person’s fault… but with the church and Jesus, it’s always the church’s fault. Yet Jesus never stops forgiving. 


  • Keep your eyes on Jesus. His grace gives you the ability to forgive. He has a purpose for your marriage, and he will give you abundant grace in it.

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