Date Night, Baby
I’ve got to tell you how great it’s been to hear some of the stories you’ve told me about what the “date your mate” challenge has been to your marriage. For those of you that don’t know, we challenged married couples to go on a date night once each week during this series. This past Friday we (the pastoral team) tried to show you how serious we were about it by keeping everybody’s kids and giving $20 and a date night plan to couples. We also rotated through a prayer room lifting up each of the couples that were out on their date that evening.
We gave out a ton of money and were flat overrun with kids. It was awesome.
Here is a note I got from one of our more colorful members that you just have to read. Worth your time, I promise:
I need to tell you what a ridiculous blessing date night was to me and my husband. Let me explain: I have an exemplary and amazing husband. He basically does everything right, from telling me I’m beautiful to bringing me flowers for no reason. Nonetheless, since the birth of our last child, I have basically been teetering on the edge of a wild depression spiral/panic attack/wild cookie dough-eating spree, or all of the above. You see, I’m a stay at home mom of what at times feels like an actual gaggle of children (whom are precious and delightful in the Lord’s eyes, thank you very much), and lately that role has essentially consumed me. I sometimes feel like I am beginning to disappear, that I no longer exist as an individual, but simply as a caretaker, sippy cup distributor, and CEO of our household chores division: and forget about feeling romantic or physically becoming. HA! There are days that I don’t even get to brush my teeth, let alone shower or even change out of my pajamas, so even though my man and I love each other madly, there is just no room for a spark (unless you’re really into sweatpants or teeth with sweaters on them).
Friday night was the first time in almost a year that I have really felt alive. Truly.
I got dressed up for the first time since I can remember and even showered…SHOCKER! I put on his favorite perfume. My teeth were perfectly matched; not one was missing. My husband could IMMEDIATELY sense the difference. I don’t know if it was the fact that we were able to go a restaurant that was a little nicer than we ones we usually frequent (hello, $20 bill!), or that we had such a large block of time (and such fantastic babysitters!) and didn’t have to rush back to the kids, but we were just giddy the whole night. It felt like the night was just for us, and I have to say I didn’t think about the kids once (is that bad? sue me.). We talked and talked and talked, and not just the typical “how was your day” nonsense…my husband told me things he had never told me before, and vice versa. It may have been that I was just truly listening for the first time in a while. It was oddly reminiscent of our first few dates. My husband noted that he could literally feel the prayers of the pastors back at the Brier Creek campus pouring over our conversation and interaction with each other.
Honestly, the night was HOT! At one point, my husband actually leaned over and nuzzled against my neck, remarking how good I smelled. He was gazing at me, and by gazing, I mean staring and drooling. I felt attractive and worthwhile. I didn’t pity my husband for having to deal with me, my fatigue, or my weirdo body issues. I found him WILDLY attractive, and honestly, that sparked my recently nonexistent libido. He enjoyed this, needless to say. We kissed in the restaurant, and then again in the car. We were essentially all over each other, and that was such a refreshing change from our recent state of affairs. I am proud to say that I am totally hot for my husband, even after all these years, and that makes me proud…we answered all the questions on the questionaire, and it really helped us focus on what we have, which is so valuable and so precious, and also on what we like it to become. We have been gifted with each other, and are newly determined to cherish and protect that gift. We have a game plan in place. We each know where the other stands, so no more guess work, which means a lot less frustration and needless bickering. I am just so thankful that the Summit Church prizes its members and their marriages in such a way. We were so deeply blessed by Date Night….when is the next one?
We have only a couple of weeks left in the Exposed: Song of Solomon series. What questions do you really hope Solomon addresses?
I’m so glad that Parents Date Night is helping parents in this way. I hope that the author of that letter doesn’t have to wait until another PDN to have an evening alone with her husband. Get someone from your SummitLIFE group to take your kids for an evening! Your group is there to support you 🙂
First, I have appreciated the series and wish I had heard it a long time ago. Please put it in a book form or DVD series so I can discuss it with my children later and spare them so much pain.
I would like for you to address the women who are married to the men you described at the very end of your sermon yesterday. I can attest to the fact that it does infiltrate every part of your marriage. To be fair I have a lot of sexual guilt and situation that I cannot go (my husband does not nor can he see why I have changed over the years)He empties my vessel daily to fill his own and over the years I have been so dry I literally have nothing left. I have felt so devalued that even with positive changes on his part I find I am unable to feel intimate in any way and actually causes me panic attacks. I pray for change to my heart but none comes. no one can see the depth of my despair. I am hoping someone can recognize these symptoms and give me a real response.
Thank you.
damaged, contact JD, Rick or someone else on church staff pronto. This sounds like something that you REALLY need to talk to someone about. You’re in my prayers.
J.D.,
I stumbled across this article about sex education in the United States on the BBC and thought that you would find it interesting.
Doug
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7368219.stm
i thought this article was applicable:
http://www.newsobserver.com/news/story/1052565.html